A Life After Babies

As I stated in a blog post prior about how life is chugging along, I sit here typing in the wee hours of the night after failed attempts of getting back to sleep. I'm pretty sure I know this is a side affect of my ADHD medication, but hoping its not going to be a regular occurrence.

So blog post it is!

At the same age give or take, Alden has been weaned. The same behavior issues were resulting as like his brother....and this momma was now over this bonding experience.

........And I have to say.....I am not really missing it. Yes, I just said that. Three and a half years of my life were given to trying to ensure they could get the most health benefit from the liquid gold.

So now what?

Why, a whole new lifestyle that is!

I can now shop for tops/sweaters and not have to test it for how easy I could whip a boob out while not flashing whatever bystander was near. The girls get to 'move up' to a new position post with the help of underwire! No more having to re click the nursing bra back after wrestling a baby and toddler on my lap.

THE BAR IS CLOSED!

Nolan frequently refers to my boobs as 'mommies milk', and has been obsessed with them since day one. After having weaned him for 15 months, one day after being incredibly tired of fighting him off while nursing his brother, said, "Fine....go ahead!"

He latched and nursed as if those last 15 months were only but a skipped day.

But the latch of a near three year old is not the same as the one of a six month old.

Yep.....this ain't going to continue.

I'm not stuck holding a baby to feed or rock to sleep and can go and reinvest in my previous hobbies/passions which had to sit off to the side most of the time except for a few brief moments I was able to indulge myself with a personal project.


In the last few days, I've looked on at the family as my three are sitting on the couch with Gram while she reads a few more stories before her soon to be here flight home.....

This life stage is actually pretty enjoyable. Yes, my last baby is no longer a baby and pushing his independence and curiosity for life further each day.....but so much about everyday life is very much exciting to him. I've noticed how he'll roll a train car over my curves, jumping it from fat mound to leg and back to fat mound like Evil Knievel ramps. *sigh*

Nolan will be overheard playing with one of the boys I watch during the day and reenacting with his Rescue Bots along with Optimus Prime trying to save each other. Just his own fantasy role playing that Eliza didn't get very big into

....And my big five year old, bus riding kindergartener. Her new abilities she's developing from improving her speech, learning to read and even following step by step visual directions to put together a Lego Friends set pieces.

My kids love each other....most of the time....and love their parents.....most of the time.....

I really am blessed.

We may have a giant hole in the ceiling, a kitchen that can't be kept clean, one car we have to share between a career/kids/appointments/life, bitten off more than we might possibly be able to chew....

But blessed :)

Spin Cycle

Life has been everything thrown into the washer and humming like clock work around these parts. This kinda explains the lack of blogging as of late. But trust me....the desire has been there....but, soooo many projects have been buzzing in this head of mine.

It constantly plays tug-o-war with my adult responsibilities.

My mother has made her annual trip out east to stay with us for a month or so. Accompanied by this, has been my uncle and aunt from the Gallagher side, followed with my soon to be in laws for Columbus day weekend. A long overdue family portrait is scheduled this time around to include Alden on the wall.

As much as I've enjoyed having this extra family visiting, not to mention two....yes TWO date nights Matt and I've been blessed to go on.....it brings on a different kind of work/stress when entertaining. Not the bad sorts, but just more activity than we are accustomed to.

Eliza is in school during the day (unless we have the pleasure of discovering lice), two extra boys come off the bus to my house for childcare, MOPS has started up again and Alden is becoming more and more a toddler. Speaking of that, He had a recent doctor's appointment. His stats for 15 months are as follows:

Height: 33 in (92nd %)
Weight: 23 lbs 11 oz (36th %)
Head: (96th %)

He loves to be outside playing, climbing and eating sand from the sandbox. Anything with wheels are always enjoyed. And language is emerging more. Something I am not use to from prior experience with the older two and speech delays. Mama, dada, dueweek (drink) ut oh, bye bye....


We are still waiting on getting a bid back on the upstairs bathroom from Nolan flooding it. One of the hold ups is finding asbestos on the underside of the bathroom flooring. If we can try and remove it ourselves as to totally legal in NY state and use the insurance money to cover the remodel...this would be the best situation....especially if you've ever had to experience a shower or function in it.

The ceiling still has to be torn out and instal drywall.

The livingroom floors have original red oak flooring! Now its a matter of getting it repaired in a few places and then refinished. The hardest part with this is having to be out of the house for 3 days! No easy feat!


Weather here has been mild. Just today I went outside in a short and shorts while the boys played and I worked on deconstructing pallets. I wonder how long I'll be able to work out in the shed for cutting scrap lumber until it requires snow boots and a parka, ha!

I installed some leftbehind gutters over our side door entrance and along the carport last week, but will eventually need something more efficient and covering more around the outside roof sides. Yet, it was free and I just barely managed with a painter's stool getting the brackets screwed in.

New curtains in the living room to replace the previous owners love affair with puke green everything!

Still need to sew the boy's window curtains....and having to force myself to just do it when the bolt of fabric sits in the basement. It seems no matter how....even if you make them yourself....it still will cost you an arm/leg and first born!

Who needs the gym when you have a house to work on?!

The Unforgettable Trip of My Life

SUMMER BREAK!

This phrase can bring ecstasy and horror all at once depending on the individual. As a family of five, going on any sort of vacation can be tricky equation and includes several choice four letter words at any given time.

 For us, the usual no brainer is to make a trek to the grandparents house for an easy and affordable get away.

...Especially when your husband is going to be gone for a week in Nashville for a barbershop conference!

Ain't nobody got time for that single parent thing.... (props to military families or those with a spouse who is required to travel for work)

This trip of exploring parts of Connecticut while staying at the grandparents B&B was in the books for quite awhile.

Then throw in the whole mind blowing discovery of my unknown family....life couldn't be any better!

*Cue mind blowing bomb #2*

One morning before church, I was informed that it was of the utmost importance for me to come to the 2nd annual Sisterpalooza in Utah. Because not only would I get to meet a handful of sisters....my DAD would also be making an appearance. And if I could find childcare for my older two, my siblings wanted to chip in for a plane ticket.

Flabbergasted by their kindness and generosity, God opened the doors and a VERY kind friend agreed to help with childcare while Matt was at work.

So after a long retreat in Connecticut, I had a little over a day to recover and pack for another trip and take Alden along with me for the free lap space on the plane.

During my time in Utah, I was hosted by my sister Cy and her hubby Keith. Two other sisters came with kids of theirs and also enjoyed the wonderful hospitality provided. My brother Jed even pulled away from his busy life as a dentist and father of 5 to meet and visit. Sister peer pressure does work from time to time ;)

Highlights
The Natur Store
Fast food taco shops (ain't gonna find them in Rome)
Olympic Park Center- Ski jump tubing
SLC Farmers Market
Temple Square sightseeing
Staying up late and bonding
Comparing all sorts of different body parts of each other

.....And the most special part of all, spending time with my dad and meeting my only living grandmother Delpha. Alden is the only family member I know who has been able to meet a 'great'.

The overall experience and observation was to be able to just fit in with these family members and not feel like you had to be someone else to fit in. It was almost effortlessly, despite many of us growing up in different backgrounds and spiritual journeys.

I was told by many of the natural siblings that I reminded them so very much of our brother Zach who passed back in 2010 unexpectedly. Even looking through a memory book of his pictures growing up and comparing them to mine....Zach was really my twin. I feel honored to be given many likenesses and personality of him and wished I could have met him in person.

For those of us who are the donor siblings of the family....it is almost like we were blessed to skip the crudy growing up years of fighting and competing for attention and go right to the adult relationships.

This trip is only the beginning, and I can't help myself but smile all the time when these special people come to mind. My Heart has grown by numerous sisters, brother/inlaw, grandma, dad, nieces & nephews...and even a few fur babies.

I guess Matt did get his wish of marrying into a big family......God really does have a sense of humor! 

Who is Your Daddy: Part 2

To read part 1, click here

Darn red tape.....no money for a family law attorney....and well I guess maybe in Heaven I'd finally be told my missing story while standing at the pearly gates.

On my mothers side, we've been able to trace the family history back to coming over on the Mayflower from Ireland. So I did have that side at least to cling to. But otherwise, nothing to jump up and down about.

One afternoon during my favorite time of the day, aka nap time...I switched on TLC. They were airing a recent series called Long Lost Family. Most of the people they casted were those who came from adoptions.

You know....ones that had a better paper trail to track down. You hear about these cases all time. My entrance in life is either a rarity or not something which is talked or brought up about. Although with advancing fertility technology and same sex couples who seek a donor for one piece of the reproductive equation....I wonder if cases like this will be brought to light more often and laws put in place to give rights to the offspring from said donors.

In this show, they were using Ancestry.com quite a bit. You may have seen their commercials running before, with another company called 23andme.com. They were pushing their DNA test to see what your ethnic background was comprised of. It sounded neat....but not $100 neat. So I disregarded like a lot of pushes for products.

As I continued to watch, they were bringing up a DNA database to find any leads for someone searching.

Wait....DNA database?

.....then I became very still and became overwhelmed with emotion when it dawned on me that the door to my bio dad may not have been permanently shut.

I begged Matt to please get me the test as a Mother's day gift (yes, I ask for weird things as gifts from him). At that time we was game for it, but was uncertain as to where the money would come from to swing it. Then he found a couple weeks later, they were running a sale and knocking $20 off the price.

I guess that was the tipping point.

The box came with instructions to spit into a vial and send it back in a little white box. Done and done the same day I received it. My main goal of this test was to find at least one half sibling. In no way was I holding any hope it would result in any more or that the donor was registered with the site. Then I waited.

And waited.....

.......and waited some more.

I had no clue how fast this whole process of testing would take. Matt finally gets an email from them and....

.....I didn't give them enough spit and they were sending another test out.

UGH!!!!!

No expedited shipping or processing the second time around. Weeks continued to come and go, with only a few little updates that they'd received it, but hadn't undergone any testing yet.

Fast Forward to the night of July 8th....

We had been out late doing some shopping and the kids went to bed late. I decided to wind down with a little adult coloring before knocking out. I had just got settled when I hear Matt holler to come down stairs to see something.

Um....it can wait. Show me that funny FB meme/comment/comic etc later. I was not in the mood to move. Then he shouts that my RESULTS ARE IN!

Well then....I think I can be inconvenienced for THAT!

My ethnicity results were not showing up, but except a swirling progress circle.

Man...what a buzzkill!

But what we were able to find there were a few folks registered on Ancestry who were in the "close family to 1st cousin" category. Now the measured units they use for the test has to have at least 30 of them to register as being related in some way. THe folks listed were in the 1400 and up category with 100% certainty.

I sent a few of them a general message about the two mystery paternal sides to see if either one had an relation to them.

Next thing I know, one of them responds quickly with news I couldn't believe....

I was speaking to one of my sisters....and I have 12 other siblings! Some from a marriage(s) and the other half from being a donor that they know of thus far.

Oh.....and the one I spoke to said they've found the donor!

Holy COW!

The last 24 hours have included many many facebook chats, exchanging of pictures as kids and our kids....

LOADS of questions about each other....

And the best part....

In just 24 hours, I've spoken to my bio dad twice today!

Here he is!

He is an OBGYN in California.

Use to live in Poway just down the street where I was born

Says I look just like one of his sons from his first marriage...but with a wig on lol.

Here is a testimony to answered prayer...

I have been praying for almost 34 years for this day. 

From feeling left out for years before being accepted by my father in law.....

Finding old school papers talking about my wishes to meet my real dad...

Teased for who I was and my background.... (turns out I'm 64% west european, 9% trace and the rest Irish)

All has been revealed in a swoosh from no where. I can say very much so with confidence that I feel more more "whole" on this earth...and maybe slightly normal...but some may say the jury is out on this one ;)

The other siblings have all met each other last year....and I hope to make the trip at some point to meet everyone at a reunion and hopefully hug this man I've longed for more than I wanted to wait.

God is so very good....even 34 years later :)

On a side note from the Kindergarten Cop movie......I guess I can really say that "My dad is a gynecologist"

BUHAHAHAH!

Who is Your Daddy and What Does He Do? Part 1

Ah....a memorable line from a classic Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

Growing up, I wasn't able to ever answer that question. Father's day was nothing more than a day where I knew none of my friends would be available to play around the neighborhood. There certainly wasn't much point in participating in the yearly Father's day card craft where you make the front look like a shirt collar with a tie.

I knew very early in my life of the fatherly void.

And my mother was not shy in keeping any secrets about how my existence became to be. I was conceived by methods of artificial insemination through an anonymous sperm donor.

For years and years I would dream of finding out who this mystery side of me was. Just even a picture was all I wanted. I borrowed friends fathers where ever I could to relish and savor in any sort of way what it might be like to have one of my own.

Families came and went from the neighborhood, and so did the future activities I could live vicariously through.

When I turned 18, I sought out whatever information I could on the donor through the fertility clinic which was and still is in business. What they were able to release to me was not much. Nothing really identifying or tangible which I could cling to was found in that cold white single letter.

In college I struggled with my faith and what having a Heavenly Father really went and felt like. I still was clenching some sort of hope of someone who I'd never met or seen but made up 50% of my genetic material. My mother would be the one to give her blessing to Matt to ask for my hand in marriage. It would be my uncle to walk me down the aisle.

It came down to the point where I had to lay this hunger to know who my biological father down at the cross. If I didn't pick up the notation of any chance of finding out....I wouldn't have to fight to let it go.

Our wonderful kids came later....

And I was giddy of the fact of knowing these close family members were the newest and most directly related to me and my past.

Where does this come from?

Matt doesn't have these features....

Who do they take after on my side that I can't even compare to?

There would be a silent cry inside when members from Matt's family would comment on physical features and the family lines they most resembled. You know....the usual things proud family members do when a baby is born.

I'd have to fight the defensiveness in me to defend my unknown genetic material. "Well how do you not know it came from my fathers side!?" 

But due to legal restrictions....I was at a dead end of knowing anything more.

TO BE CONTINUED....

A Season of Goodbye

                                Mrs. Doreen- Speech                                    Mrs. Meada- Physical

For such a short amount of time for Eliza to experience, despite it feeling like yesterday and still knowing a whole five years have passed...she hasn't had to really say goodbye to much of anyone.

Until this season of life.

For the last 3 years, we've had a few special individuals come twice a week to do physical and speech therapy in our home. Now we are at the point where the fall will bring her therapy time while in school. The end of this school year means the end of our home visits.

....and it makes me a bit sad to not have these kind women to make small talk and briefly share the coming and goings of our families. We've had them from 1 to 2+ years. These women have gone above and beyond their duties while also accepting younger siblings and childcare kids present during therapies. Not to mention giving me a few moments to go to the bathroom alone for a moment while all are entertained!

Then to top it off, our year of Pre-K is over.

Miss Martin

This little school with its safe hallways lined with little shared lockers for 4 year olds and how every grade is the same level will no longer greet Eliza during the week. I struggle to recount her first day sitting at one of the large main tables as Miss Martin greeted them and went over important information. Eliza has struggled with the concept of when she'll go back to school again as a kindergartener, but not have her same teacher. Everything has the same concept of being "last year".

Yes yes.....I know I will have two more kids walk that main hallway...but the world is going to get a bit bigger for my first born come September. New office staff, bus drivers, cafeteria workers and new people like librarians and music teachers will be part of the new normal.

The silver lining though....

We hope to have our wishes granted to have Nolan get the same speech therapist in mid July as there is a severe delay in his articulation. And after further testing, it has shown him to have some hearing loss. In the same month, Nolan will undergo anesthesia in order to have a specific hearing test to rule out any structural defects. While they have him out, they will also check to see if there is continued fluid behind the eardrums. If so, they will put in tubes.

I think I am the most concerned about having to maintain the specific restrictions and precautions which follow having tubes. Nolan is clueless to what awaits him this summer. Will it be another fight or will he calmly surprise us and easily accept this new change?

Time will tell...but I'm not holding my breath!

One Year Down

Starting birth weight: 8 lbs. 13 oz                                                        One year weight: 22 lbs. 15 oz

With the third child, there are some shreds of truth about how much less attention they get compared to earlier siblings. We went very simple this year and decided to to a smash cake, outside the local custard ice cream stand and let Alden have at it. No real special theme or elaborate Pintrest worthy conjurments...only the classic cake and a birthday shirt his big brother wore over 2 years ago. 

The Geddes are a Swinging

At last the summer has just about reached us....at least warmer temperatures to enable some enjoyment outside.

With the new house, I made it a point to find one that gave us a large enough backyard. Nothing crazy big, but something bigger than a postage stamp. As we started spending time out there with my kids and a few others who join us a few days a week, it was becoming quickly apparent that we needed a few more things to do.

Phase one was building a simple basic sandbox. Its 5'x5' and required 400 lbs of sand. Yes you read that right. Try pushing it on a dolly through Lowes ;) The bottom has landscape fabric tacked on, so it never floods and keeps things where they are suppose to stay...as long as the kids will keep it all inside....sigh. Do far, any area cats have not discovered it, or do not care to, so we used the cover tarp as a nice shade canopy.

Phase two involved a little more time and muscle to construct. We were missing our ghetto swings at the old house. The old belt swings were kept, for just this possibility of building our own. After looking on Craigslist and other retail options, it was becoming clear it would be best to just build our own. Many folks who were selling theirs, did not construct them to be taken down and put back up. And for the price of it used, it was about the same in materials.

We ended up going with this option on Amazon. It enabled us to not have to figure out cutting any angles or wondering how we could get it cut. The 4x4 beams just slide in along with a 4x6 header. I wanted something which could last longer than most of the cedar products....and also to grow with the kids are they became bigger and taller. (The yard past the swings doesn't belong to us, but there is no fence and the house is bank owned for now)

Each new project has been presented with a learning curve....and tool components we lack..grrrr. And I'll never understand why there are no couples counseling resources to be found in the home improvement aisles, but its done and the kids love it!

Eliza the 5th

Here we go! Number Five is in the books for Eliza Ruth. And how awesome to have a house big enough to host a party. An even bigger bonus was to have weather which cooperated for outside play.

The cake was a layered brownie, using a mini loaf pan. This enabled me to stack and play around with them to make her requested letter E cake.

Lots of friends attended, with close to around 18 kids total (4-5 being babies)

Needless to say....both Matt and I were exhausted after everything. We kept everything pretty simple with the food provided (cucumber & PBJ with chips and juice boxes), and self entertainment. Yet, with just hosting a party, there is still a fair amount of cleaning and prep to be done. I think until she hits 10, we'll keep things to being a little more low key and do parties for the milestone years.

Kindergarten....here we come!

11 Months

Gah!!!!!!

I hate this month for the sole reason my babies look so much less baby and more so beginning toddler.

Teeth keep spurting up through those gums while my daughter keeps loosing em. His count is now 7 toofers.

Most of his clothes are in the 12 to 18 month range, with a few 2T pajamas he can get away with. 

Steps have been taken...4 at the most in one time. Alden loves to pull himself up on furniture and then let go and stand and gaze around like its no big deal. If I've gone upstairs, he is very quick to follow me and has made it to the 3rd step before I rush to remind him of the boundaries.

I think we've entered into some of the separation anxiety stage. For staying at the grands house, this was the first time he's taken a long time to warm up to his surroundings and to the warm open arms of grandma. He'll cry rarely in my arms....and claw his way to me if in daddy's embrace and I come within inches of him.

My yearning for his independance to increase accompanies damage to my heart. Of course I want him to grow and develop into the next phase, but I can't help but long for more of the baby wearing and cuddling stage. Yes....I want my cake and eat it too. Freedom for myself AND baby smells with long gazes at each other.

If only I had friends close by to get a baby baby fix and promptly hand them back. No nieces or nephews to dote over either.....being an only child sucks at this stage of life.

I know I keep promising a post about the house....but I RARELY get very long stents of time down in the basement where the office is kept to get images edited and posts typed down. I find I do most of my casual online involvement on the phone....which is not blog or photo editing friendly.

So hope springs eternal

p.s.

I have been seriously considering scrapping a 1st birthday party and doing our own family cake smash. I feel like ain't nobody have time for that party prep....or anything else fun.

When did I become soooo boring? 

Ten Months

We've entered double digits territory here!

Now if only mother nature would change as fast going forward as my son is growing each day :/ We had a late well baby visit last week, and as usual, they are never as heavy as my arms could swear they are!

Weight: 21 lbs. 3 oz (52nd%)

Height: 30.5 in (95th%)

12 to 18 month clothing seem to be the norm around here, with even some 2 piece pajamas being 24 mo/2 t. I've never had a child reach and exceed the 20 pound mark before a year old. In fact, it isn't until a couple months late they make that milestone. Something tells me Alden is going to taller and maybe bigger than his big brother....and possibly sooner then Nolan knows.

Milestones:

Easter egg hunt and church celebration

Practicing on balancing on 2 feet without using any hands ( I think first steps are not too far away)

Inaugural first spaghetti meal

Two new top teethers!

As Alden grows and developes in personality and desires, I've noticed how he's becoming more feisty when interacting with Nolan. He'll put up much more of a fight over a toy and is increasingly wanting to scout out what the big kids are doing. Eliza has also been showing an increased interest in him and will ask to hold him on her lap.....Well lets change that to, "picks up brother" and take him to the couch. She'll even try and dance with him, holding his hands while he stands. All the while I am having to remind her to "slow dance" until he gets his jitterbug legs.

One thing is for certain.....he is a mommas boy! Those eyes will track the momma bird when temporarily placed with daddy. Sometimes cooking becomes a bit interesting as we make laps around the kitchen island, trying to catch a hold of my legs. 

I guess I should start planning that 1st birthday celebration.....

Settling Dust

I am at a loss as to how hard it has been to have the chance to sit at the keyboard (aside from the phone) and download my thoughts into a coherent blog post. Bits and pieces come out from time to time while getting a few spare moments to myself with a friend or two.

So I guess....where to begin?

Life since moving has been full of emotions. I almost immediately felt like we've lived here for years as I pulled out our belongings from the amassed boxes in the basement. Our house is no 'open concept' layout style, but more so, a 'double the fun' size. (did you just start singing the old double mint commercial?) We aren't living on top of each other nor getting lost in all the new space to breath in. It's old and new and doesn't scream any particular style of house.

In a way......it fits us perfectly.

We beam with pride at the new.

Grimace at what we'd like to change.

Accept what we cannot change....

....and look hopeful to the future and the memories to be recorded.

This house will mostly be the only one Alden will be aware of, outside of the pictures taken in the past. And speaking of pictures....it only recently dawned on me that I no longer have my mini tree laden forest backyard to step out to for impromptu kid pictures.

Change always comes at some sort of price....whether you realize it now or many years later.


Change, change, change....

It evokes thrills and panic, and sometimes all at once!

Alden is changing and growing everyday. And as I look into welcoming spring and the even more welcomed summer season....my spirit kinda sinks. Summer marks when my baby boy will turn one. Why didn't I cherish more of those first few months? Why did I have to be so busy with my own interests or tending to the other kids to not sit and hold him and soak it all in? Quite a few folks are having babies and I'd be lying if I didn't say some of the baby fever wasn't sticking.

Forget all the pregnancy dealings.....lets just skip to when they place him/her in my arms and we melt together.

Deal?

Matt will say without hesitation that he is done with the bio babies. If anymore come to us, he will insist they be potty trained. And I too, will admit we are probably done....but I can't shake the pain of 100% coming to that point myself. Logistically, it's spelled pretty boldly as to why, but the heart doesn't always agree with the brain.

Over and over I will have to tell myself...."Just as it was scary to enter motherhood and adjust to all the rigors and ecstasy of being a parent of babies....the same can be said to saying goodbye to that chapter too."

It's okay to have your own passions and to pick them back up. Having that newborn in your arms is not the be all end all. Only a precious pause of the numerous you will find throughout your lifetime. You'll adjust to new changes and then go back to mourning them when a new season of change comes through the doors.

Wash, rinse, repeat.....and that's okay.

It's okay to be sad and miss, as it proves it was something worthy amongst all the dull and dripple of our everyday lives.

Or at least that's what I keep telling myself!  

P.S.
I will post pictures of the house and write a post on all that we've encountered since being homeowners. So stay tuned.

Oh Boy- Nine Months

It has come to that point that you've now spent more time outside of my body than in it. It feels like forever and just ago that you joined our crazy loud family. I have always had mixed feelings about this milestone....but it seems like every night I put you to bed....you grow a day older.

So many new things you've learned in only a month!

Full blown crawling

Pulling up to stand

Furniture cruising

Walking and pushing your walker

Moving to the big boys room at Grandma and Grandpa's house

....and being stopped from climbing the stairs!

We see some new little personality quirks come shining through like laughing when your brother comes down the stairs, or shaking your head back and forth wildly for some unknown reason. Unless you are held captive in the playpen or jumper, you rather explore the floor than play with toys.

You tirelessly keep trying to cut your four top front teeth. But I am sure this month will bring success. And I am sure that first unassisted steps won't be too far away.

Without a doubt, you are undeniably a mama's boy when it comes to having to pick someone. 

If you're still reading this post....thank you for enduring all the sickly sweet drippings of our baby's moments!

Eight Months!

Oh me oh my! The days just keep rolling into each other and my little baby is becoming less and less of one!

Probably the biggest milestone has been full blown crawling and exploring. Unless he's in the 'pen', crying it out doesn't work so well when they go off to find you. Alden has been teething 4 top teeth at once, so that has made his desires to be attached to me at all times all the more intense...

Toys are becoming much more interesting....including his brothers! Nolan isn't as inclined to share his planes at this point though.

Since the move, I've tried to go back to our cloth diaper roots. The intentions have always been there...but I've given myself a long vacation from them since his birth to simplify life. And I have to say....I've forgotten just how much more frequently you have to change them compared to disposables. Either I need to strip the diapers or the elastic needs some refreshing....but I doubt I'll be giving disposables completely up anytime soon aside from being away from home. 

I'm very happy to have window light and wood floor in Eliza's room to continue our monthly milestone basket pictures. As much as I love the new house, our old one did have wonderful window light for daily pictures. But, its a trade off I am happy to make!

Survivor: Toddler Edition

There are some days where I wonder if I'll ever make it through the 2nd and 3rd years of Nolan's childhood.

I mean....how can a child be so disobedient and angry a lot of the time, while in between, pull a 180 and be clamoring for my attention asking for cuddles. I want to sock the person who ever started spreading the rumor that boys were easier than girls!

News flash.....either sexes are difficult no matter who's kids they are.

Matt and I'll notice we have to guard things which Eliza had no interest in. Things like climbing baby gates, pounding on doors, running toys on the walls, scribbling on walls. The list could go on forever.

Every child develops at their own rate, but I can't help but wonder if my son will ever be bright. Simple things like describing where something is in the room for them to put away or bring to me. Speech articulation is still an issue and we have him set up in March for another evaluation, but this time from the school district.

People say girls are usually ahead of the boys, but when do things level out?

This season of life with my oldest son has made it hard to want to love him. To feel like he is the world to me, and will be successful in life.

Nap time can go either way. We've had 1.5 hours of him screaming and pounding the door sooo hard that I wonder if he'll punch a hole in the darn thing. Simple requests are met with many 'no's' and temper tantrums. He'll bite me when I have to carry him to time out...take a swing at me or his sister while walking by him while on time out. A real Jekyll and Hyde kind of personality and its wearing both Matt and I out. Is a little balance too much to ask for?

I've tried everything I think imaginable as far as tips and tricks go...but this stubbornness is world record worthy.....

Please, please tell me there is light to be found at age 4 and beyond?

Seven Months

The new year has come and we've put to rest the year in which Alden was born in. Has it really been that long? It feels like forever and just last month that we had to swaddle him and precariously perch the binki just so to keep it in. How I could carry you around the house in the crook of my arm and not feel like it was about to fall off.

Sigh....

So here are the most recent firsts 

Celebrated Christmas

Sitting up unassisted

Two teeth! (ouch)
Scootching backwards around on tummy (and getting stuck)

Restaurant highchair club

Attended a funeral 

You can just see the tiny tips of those teeth. But they don't feel tiny sometimes while nursing...

With the move coming up, this may be the last basket picture in this house. It makes me a little sad to think Alden will only know of this home by pictures. But there may be some hope in Eliza's room floor and window. We shall see!

2016 Prayersolutions

Dear Gracious Heavenly Father...

Family
Very much is uncertain for our extended family. Matt's father has been diagnosed with stage four cancer. Its been all rather sudden for us all. Please give the doctors the wisdom as to how to best attack it. Give our father the strength as he goes through chemo. Also give peace and endurance for our mother as she cares for him. I am so thankful for my children getting to grow up with a grandfather in their lives. It was something I never got to experience, and I praise you for breaking the cycle in our family.

Home
Please bring fourth a moving crew to help us make this move in yet another winter. I look at all we've amassed in 6 years of our last cross country move and can't help but feel overwhelmed at all which has to get packed and moved. You also know of the work we still will need to put into the house before and after we move in. May your timing be perfect and help us realize it when we get worried or frustrated with the work being done.

Community
I pray for the wisdom and discernment as to how best to serve our community. There are many hurting and broken people who just need to be loved. Please help our family better reach out to these people and any resources we might need to do so.

Business
Please help bring photography clients my way. I really do enjoy doing what I do when the opportunities present themselves. I would love to seek out any other working from home possibilities...whether it be doing side work of face painting or even being able to bless a family with affordable childcare like we have experienced in the past. I know how frustrating that process is when you want a reliable care provider in a loving home. With the blessing of having a bigger house, I ask for your will on that way to help provide for our family needs.

2015 Prayersolutions Answered

Dear Heavenly Father.... (January 2015)

Family
Help put in place the people and resources as we prepare to welcome a new family member. Please let this birth experience be a positive one with better healing and recovery after surgery. May our baby be healthy and strong. Also for Nolan, to transition well into his new big brother role.

God came through for us in a huge way this time around. With having a mentor mom from our MOPS group take our kids for 2 nights for the birth of Alden...it was a great weight lifted. Another person also fell into our laps for some day coverage. Nolan loves his little brother too. Healing also went much smoother and enjoyed recovering in the summer verses winter. Our Aflac coverage also came with a big financial discovery that enabled us to pay some debt down and cover bills. A much needed blessing after little to no tax return and having to unexpectedly purchase a new vehicle.

Space
As much as I have tried to be content in our starter space here in New York, it is becoming evidently clear that something has got to give. I desire to have a place for people and things, instead of cluttering up on each other. The winter months are long and having a finished basement for family time and play would be a wonderful blessing. To have the space means, being able to keep things clean for longer periods of time and use the new place to host gatherings of fellowship.

An interesting discovery came when after the snow melted and new neighbors were discovered. We had a new community of friends who had children and liked to play outside and open their homes to others to enjoy. I had become content with our home and loved the perks among the pits it came with. But with the city taking ownership of the properties, it pushed us to put on our grownup pants and purchase a home!

I would have never dreamed this day would happen back in January, and will answer many of our problems of living in a small space with 3 messy children.

New Beginnings?
We've spent about 5 years in one place....the longest for myself at least since moving away from home. We keep wondering when you will open the doors to a new state perhaps that will be better for our family's future outcome. I know it would be a mixed blessing, as I have made some wonderful friendships over the years, as have my kids with theirs. Help us discern what your will is for our family.

With deciding to stay in Rome for a little longer with the house, I think God has closed many a doors to moving away, while opening the financial ones to finance a house. Matt was also offered a promotion after interviewing for a new position at DFAS. I thank the Lord for his job security and benefits offered.

Health
This last half of the year was rather eventful when it came to our health. Besides the birth of our 3rd child, please keep us healthy and well, with no hospital stays. We are grateful for your providence when these surprises have popped up and for the insurance Matt has with his job.

Our health has been very uneventful in this department! So happy to have healthy and thriving children :)

Six Months!

My my my....how six months has flown by....and yet it feels like Alden has been part of our family forever. He really does help balance out the older two, giving them a distraction from fighting with each other...some of the time.

In this last month, we've celebrated Thanksgiving, moved out of the infant carrier to a convertible car seat and spooned our way into the world of solids!

.....yes, I know...riveted reading material here folks.

He can still fit into a few 3 mo onesies, but mostly in 6 to 9 mo clothes. And I think we are on the way out of size 2 diapers, but not till our last pack of 2's are used up.

Right now we are working on sitting up unassisted without the boppy or sitting in a high chair. I think this is where the world really opens up to them when they master this gross motor skill.

Our Well Baby stats are as follows

height: 30 in 97th %

weight:18.3 58th %

head: 91st %

Nolan at 7 months 

Weight: 18.5 lbs. (41st%)

Height: 28 inches (76th%)

Head: (78th%)

So weight wise, they are pretty much spot on. But on the height...yeah this kid certainly grew. Our boys also seem to carry on with the big head trend :) Our next appointment will be at 9 months.

Heaven's Baby Boy

Life

It's unpredictable and many times unfair when you think about it.

A phrase we tell kids many times when they are not happy or the situation was not fair.



Sometimes we don't know when we are going to have to use the resources we prepared for. Sometimes we have lots of notice for when we will be required to use it...and then it may be sprung on you on a normal everyday kind of day.

For me...that was a Thursday I will never forget.

I had just recently put Nolan down for a nap after giving him a haircut and a special mid day bath time. Eliza was away at school, but expected to return soon on the bus. Alden was rather clingy due to teething, so I kinda ran with it and wanted to enjoy some non kid tv time. A real luxury.

Then I found my front door opening. It couldn't have been Matt, as he had already come home briefly on his lunch break and there were no other therapists scheduled to come in the afternoon for Eliza.

It was my neighbor.

She had a baby in her arms, one who I knew and had held at just hours old in the hospital. You could see a frightful look in her eyes. At first I thought she needed some help with some first aid supplies for a bloody nose. But as she came closer, and proceeded to hand him in my arms....there was much more going on and he was limp.

For a split second, it dawned on me, "Oh my God, I am actually going to have to use my cpr training for real!"

I immediately took him to the floor and did a rescue puff. Then as my training was flooding back to me, I remembered to try to locate a pulse. No pulse. As I gave rescue breathing, I could hear fluid in the lungs and there was a bloody discharge coming from his nose.

Well now...they certainly didn't go through this in class!?

 So as I continued rounds of CPR, my neighbor was continuing her call with 911 and ensuring the emergency help came to the right house. I continued with this until a paramedic took over and I assisted with the oxygen until the ambulance arrived and they didn't wait for them to come in the door. He was scooped up and rushed inside it.

It wasn't until I was at the police station, giving a deposition that I was able to get an update on the baby and his passing. A flood of 'what ifs' came gushing. Did I do the CPR right? Was my rescue breathing strong enough or too strong?

One would hope for a positive outcome to result in having this sort of training for his life to be saved. But despite how the day ended...God was in the details.

He helped me remain calm

He helped bring my training back to memory

He had a doctors appointment for Alden canceled before hand that morning. If this hadn't happened, I wouldn't of been home when she tried my door.

He helped Matt be able to get off work to help watch the kids and give a place for our neighbors to crash at our house for the afternoon and evening while the police did their investigation.We had food to eat and warmth from the outside.

No one but God could see this coming. Life can be too short and there are no guarantees about the one you are given. But I do know where this little baby boy is sitting, and it gives me hope.

So please, hug your children tight. Love them all the more despite the times they are driving you nuts and crying over anything and everything. Because they are alive and well to do those things. There is so much brokenness going on, but I have faith in The Almighty who will use this and good fruit will be produced. Maybe not right now, but with time....anything is possible with God.