Mothering with ADHD

*Note- Not sure if I've posted this before...but its something pretty important I feel to share. And maybe someone else won't feel so alone in the process*

The year I turned 27, I finally got some answers to some long wondered difficulties. It seemed like once I moved away from my safe haven of 24 years in the same house and community....everything kinda hit the fan.

Like the biggest stinky pile into an industrial special effects fan.

Since getting the diagnosis of ADHD as an adult, it was as if there was a fog being lifted.

Everything.made.sense.

Growing up and my educational struggles before college were now explained. When I went to college and was able to focus on something I was very interested as opposed to the things I HAD to take previously. My HS GPA was 2.85. Graduating college it was 3.80. I knew I was smart, but couldn't understand why it didn't translate.

As the years have passed, I've been on and off medications. Turns out...being an adult who needs meds is actually a hard thing to be prescribed, let alone be able to pay for it. Then throw in pregnancy and having to go off them for safety and breastfeeding concerns...

It seemed like every time I was eligible to go back on....after two weeks I would be pregnant. Coincidence maybe?

The biggest challenge in the past has been my working environment. I've described it like being a Philips head in a flat head world. I can do the same thing as everyone else, but I just get there differently. I have my own 'tool box' of tricks to apply if I'm allowed to use them. Otherwise....we have lots of frustration and tears shed.

Being a SAHM with ADHD has been an interesting journey as those who have faithfully continued to visit this blog can surely vett for this. I live/breath/sleep in my office. No sick time or vacation days or even date nights for that matter! Every day is the same and different at the same time. I struggle with finding the motivation and drive to do the daily tasks while also give care and attention to my children. Many times, I don't find this until late at night.

So do I give in to chores or have some 'me' time? Me time is usually because I found an unexpected burst of creativity and I want to ride the wave as long as I can. This can also happen with house chores.

Having ADHD is like surfing. You paddle out, waiting for the perfect wave to come. Mean while, you bob up and down...going no where. This going no where, is when you find yourself getting depressed/agitated or letting your anxiety get the best of you. The motor is revving, but has no where to go or put that energy into something.
A lot of the time, there are things outside of your control.

You.don't.like.this.

Focus comes in different categories.

Maybe I'll get a wave of child oriented focus where I'll come up with an activity or play on the floor with them.

Maybe a house cleaning wave comes my way.

Or the hardest....a me focused project.

Then, like jealous children....they get upset and fight with each other...feeling neglected while guilt sets in over not giving them enough attention.

Drugs are not 100% the answer. They only allow me to better utilize my tips and tricks for daily life. Right now, I am on some sort of medication that can help with focus and keeping the idling engine in check. It's not perfect, but it will have to do due to my present breast feeding relationship.

But at least I can afford this one.

I am not sure how individuals can afford mental health drugs each month. The previous one I was on recently, which was the only non stimulant option, was also the ONLY one available. And of course that meant it was brand name. Even with my decent health insurance AND a prescription savings card from the pharmaceutical company...came to $105 dollery doos!

You may not see my disability on the outside, but many of us go through life with invisible struggles. Some know about them, and others have yet to get the answers as to why life is so difficult to function with most of society.

My name is Erin Geddes, and I have adult ADHD

Nap Time Musings

For when you have those precious moments to get real work done while the littles nap, here are some great time wasters to partake in as you procrastinate on your adult responsibilities. 

Enjoy

Quit your day job and do this!

You got Best in Show for what?!

When the Cleaning Get's Tough

This is what it has come to lately in our house. The pots and pans kept piling up and no volunteers came forward to wash them. Since my kitchen has very little counter space...a plastic tote and my bathtub will have to suffice. Not proud that it has come to this, but food isn't going to cook itself!

Do you have a weekly cleaning regime where each day of the week has a specific set of chores? I know I need to get my butt in action on one of those, but with my mother living in the family room...it is as if my organizational side of the brain ceases to function correctly. Instead only sputtering out bits and pieces of focus.

....I guess one of these days.

My Adult ADHD

In working with children for many years, one might think that I encounter many kids with ADHD and are all drugged and probably have a peanut allergy.

Things could be so far from the truth.

Kids are active.period. No candy induced sugar rush will make them any more hyperactive than they were before. Trust me.

I was never per say, that kid who was bouncing off the wall constantly. I was the girl who flew under the radar  I read this article about how to explain what it is like to have ADHD.

It.is.so.spot.on!

In a way, my former job was a good fit for this learning disability. I had an outlet for my endless creative energy and mental drive to come up with projects and games.

When I was diagnosed in my adult years, after I was married to Matt, it explained so much of why I was struggling in these last few years of transition and before with school. Growing up, I lived in the same house and room for 24 years. Everyone else moved away from me through the years. My grades were either an A or C/D. Stuff I had an interest in and then the stuff that was forced to take. I excelled in college, well beyond my high school accumilitive gpa of 2.8 to a 3.8, earning highest honors.

I've been on medication before, which I did see an improvement in daily functioning. Due to pregnancy and breastfeeding, I've had to pause. Not to mention, the medications are not cheap despite insurance.

I may not function like most of the world does, but its my way of doing things that've found works. Almost like a flat head vs. phillips head.

ADHD is not a disease, and its something that is passed down. Something I will continue to watch for in my own children, especially my daughter.

I am thankful for an understanding husband who has walked down this path of self discovery with me, doing his best to "get" me when I don't exactly get myself.

Certainly not a dull moment in this house!