Heaven's Baby Boy

Life

It's unpredictable and many times unfair when you think about it.

A phrase we tell kids many times when they are not happy or the situation was not fair.



Sometimes we don't know when we are going to have to use the resources we prepared for. Sometimes we have lots of notice for when we will be required to use it...and then it may be sprung on you on a normal everyday kind of day.

For me...that was a Thursday I will never forget.

I had just recently put Nolan down for a nap after giving him a haircut and a special mid day bath time. Eliza was away at school, but expected to return soon on the bus. Alden was rather clingy due to teething, so I kinda ran with it and wanted to enjoy some non kid tv time. A real luxury.

Then I found my front door opening. It couldn't have been Matt, as he had already come home briefly on his lunch break and there were no other therapists scheduled to come in the afternoon for Eliza.

It was my neighbor.

She had a baby in her arms, one who I knew and had held at just hours old in the hospital. You could see a frightful look in her eyes. At first I thought she needed some help with some first aid supplies for a bloody nose. But as she came closer, and proceeded to hand him in my arms....there was much more going on and he was limp.

For a split second, it dawned on me, "Oh my God, I am actually going to have to use my cpr training for real!"

I immediately took him to the floor and did a rescue puff. Then as my training was flooding back to me, I remembered to try to locate a pulse. No pulse. As I gave rescue breathing, I could hear fluid in the lungs and there was a bloody discharge coming from his nose.

Well now...they certainly didn't go through this in class!?

 So as I continued rounds of CPR, my neighbor was continuing her call with 911 and ensuring the emergency help came to the right house. I continued with this until a paramedic took over and I assisted with the oxygen until the ambulance arrived and they didn't wait for them to come in the door. He was scooped up and rushed inside it.

It wasn't until I was at the police station, giving a deposition that I was able to get an update on the baby and his passing. A flood of 'what ifs' came gushing. Did I do the CPR right? Was my rescue breathing strong enough or too strong?

One would hope for a positive outcome to result in having this sort of training for his life to be saved. But despite how the day ended...God was in the details.

He helped me remain calm

He helped bring my training back to memory

He had a doctors appointment for Alden canceled before hand that morning. If this hadn't happened, I wouldn't of been home when she tried my door.

He helped Matt be able to get off work to help watch the kids and give a place for our neighbors to crash at our house for the afternoon and evening while the police did their investigation.We had food to eat and warmth from the outside.

No one but God could see this coming. Life can be too short and there are no guarantees about the one you are given. But I do know where this little baby boy is sitting, and it gives me hope.

So please, hug your children tight. Love them all the more despite the times they are driving you nuts and crying over anything and everything. Because they are alive and well to do those things. There is so much brokenness going on, but I have faith in The Almighty who will use this and good fruit will be produced. Maybe not right now, but with time....anything is possible with God.

Keeping up with the Uteruses

After a very long day with the kids and excitement at the local hospital for hubby's sinus surgery, I landed on this blog posting from an Australian mommy.

Might I say...did it ever strike a chord with me, considering my own birth experiences. Even when Matt cringed at the pain of getting his IV started, I told him he could have an epidural instead ;)

I remember mourning my child birthing experience with Nolan for most of my 8 weeks of maternity leave. I was not happy to have failed to show any signs of impending labor for the second time around the block, requiring an induction. Even though I had kept in the back of my mind that a cesarean was always a possibility...I didn't think too much of it and felt like I still could give birth the traditional way again, despite a second induction experience.

I knew Pitocin all too well and the harder labor pains....Cervidil prep the night before...etc

What I didn't know was how horrible it would be to try and get an epidural in my spine and work effectively....

That my son would get stuck after 4 cm and stay that way for 5 hours until my OB had gone his highest ever on the Pitocin and left the decision up to me as far as to what Matt and I wanted to do...

But the biggest, was my OB standing up for me in the OR to the 3rd anesthesiologist who thought, "I can get this, just give me a sec...." (no I can not stay still during a contraction) which ended up with me being knocked out for the birth of my son and my husband absent from the OR.

I remember asking myself, if the c-sec rate is so high, why am I reading about all the natural ones on social media? In the area that I live in, our medical resources are very limited, especially when it comes to duellas, water births and other pregnancy alternatives.

We as women, whether we have been aware of doing it intentionally...need to just shut our mouths about some things and think about the truly important things in our reproductive life. We need to stop adding to the maternal pressures placed upon us when it comes to this area. I remember thinking that my friends and/or FB contacts would think I was weak because I didn't try every other option, or become a pain to my OB and say "no" to common practices.

Never have I heard this before at a graduation ceremony

"This years valedictorian is Walter White, who by the way was born in water and mother had no medical interventions/pain relief, AND even had his umbilical cord cut until AFTER it had stopped pulsing..." 

Parenting does not come with a sash to be adorned with merit badges. There is no cash prize for enduring the most pain ever in labor because you put your foot down hard enough. In the case of my daughter, getting pain relief actually helped my body relax so I could let labor progress...and much faster I might add.

...Because every woman's body and labor experience is never the same, can't we just be as satisfied with a healthy baby to announce and not feel any less of a mother because of the method of entrance into the world? Think of how many more happy new mothers we'd have if we changed our words! Thoughts could be instead, directed to a new creation...and where on earth did the nurses put the instruction manual ;) There will be plenty of time to second guess your parenting choices and methods.

So can't we just hold off for a little bit?

***Please note, I am not putting any mothers down for doing any of these things or if they are right or wrong practices, as this is what they chose.I am happy to simply celebrate the new life, just not the glorifying/bragging of the mechanics of it on social media.

Kids just Don't Understand

This Youtube video got me a good laugh as I kept nodding to just about everything.

There is such a difference between married couples who don't have kids yet. From the topics of conversation and playing 'What's that Smell'...we have crossed into a whole new world. Or the fact that my 17 month old son has taken to giving me random hickies as of late. (No Pastor, we were NOT necking in church.)

We never knew just what we'd get excited about before kids came into the picture.

Examples:

>Marveling at the ginormous blow out....

>Impressed at the snot bubble they just blew....

>Wondering how on earth they managed to get food flung so far from the table....

>Calling our spouse over to the changing table to show how proud you are that you can tell what they had        for dinner the night before....

>Looking at buying a car and getting excited at how many car seats you could fit in the back and still have       room for a passenger...

>Being able to use the bathroom ALONE!
>Sitting down to eat and not having to think and request X number of high chairs/boosters.
>Transitioning your kids rear facing car seat to forward so you can finally recline your blasted seat back on     long road trips....

The list could go on and on and...well...forever.

Compare this to life without kids:

Going to a 10:45 pm movie, knowing you can sleep in well after 7 am the next morning...
Finally getting past a Candy Crush level you've been stuck on for weeks...
Sitting in church and enjoying the sermon while taking notes and highlighting scripture in your Bible...
Being able to watch trash TV at any time of the day and not fear about the language or content...
Enjoying an artisan pizza with exotic toppings...

I am not complaining about having kids. Quite the contrary. I do love my children very much, and they've made life a bit more exciting, patience building, humble, compassionate etc... It's just that my prayer life has gone a little further from praying for world salvation to asking Jesus to just help your baby poop/sleep through the night/stop biting you and everything else.

But...sometimes you just can't understand until you have a kid of your very own ;)

Taking it Back!

An early morning traditional breakfast at the grandparents

When we recently inherited an additional baby gate, we were able to finally take back the kitchen again.

I have now turned into an old married with children woman who gets giddy when she is able to open and load/unload the dishwasher without fear of little hands helping. And when I say helping, I mean grabbing at the biggest and sharpest knives and trying to find snacks left on the dishes.

Now I can sweep crud into a pile and not worry about someone thrashing their hands through it, sending it flying back into the crevices I swept it out from.

I no longer have a little 17 month old throwing a fit at the base of the pantry shelves because I will not allow him to sustain himself on graham crackers all the live long day.

I no longer have to kick "Little People" or play food or whatever the heck toys my kids find amusement back into the family room.

Oh...and I no longer have to fear my legs being bitten/scratched/pinched during meal prep while a meltdown is reaching the same intensity as the Chernobyl nuclear power plant fiasco.

The downside is having to run hurdles around the kitchen. I've gotten pretty good at the plastic dish toss into the sink because I am too lazy to unlatch the gate being held closed with a bungee cord. Either my kids have outsmarted it, or this $70 gate wasn't built to last more than 2 years : /

Excuse me while I go sign up with the local track team...

No Movie for Superwoman

Another Mother's Day has come and gone...

Life continues to resume normal while daddies head off to work and mommies continue to work in and outside of the home. It is Monday.

This year was a different kind of Mother's Day. We spent it down by the city with Matt's parents and brought along my mother. The weekend was busy with celebrating Matt's mom as she walked across the graduation stage and received her Doctorate in Ministry. Sunday was a full day at the seminary that she is the Dean of Education. Church was full of jr. and senior church memberships, baby dedication, and toddler dance performances. Obligatory trinkets were handed out to all mothers present.

This should be a wonderful day for a mother...right?

What is not mentioned is having young children who could care less for most of the excitement going on at church that day and rather scream, kick off, run and otherwise behave in a less than desired way which requires the parents to hold/shush/rock in and out of the back of the chapel. They do not understand yet the importance of this day reserved for mothers. They will not know how sore and tired their mother's arms and back are after the day is over from carrying them and putting them back in time out over and over again.

When life rutts it's ugly head, there is no time or place for a mom to feel and be treated like a queen on her day.

It may be this season of life you're in where finances crush any hopes of special treatment.

Or, you've been robbed of your children who have passed too soon and it is hard to feel like you can genuinely enjoy this day.

If you've noticed the box office over the years, you'll have seen that many of the comic book superheroes have movies about them....even sequels. Yet, we have not seen one movie about Superwoman. And certainly no movies about the daily struggles we as mothers go through.

There are no merit badges for sacrificing a part of yourself to raise and nurture a child.

No excitement or trumpets played for tackling your toddler into their car seat or pulling off a wrestling move in order to get them take their medicine despite it being kid flavored. I am sure there will be Mother's Days that will be remembered, and others that we will want to forget when they fall short of our unrealistic expectations.

But...

Mothers should be celebrated EVERYDAY because kids do not take a break from their typical behavior on any particular day of the year.

Baby and Momma Needs (IMHO)

I have 4 couples I know who are expecting in the month of August. Some are first timers, while some have been around the block a few times. When you first start off...it can be a bit overwhelming to even think about what you or others will need to purchase. So....

Here is my list of items that we've found to be useful. (all links from Amazon)

Wheels

Chico


We didn't purchase this as our first stroller. Instead, we trusted getting the "travel system" package deal.

Here's the deal....
Unless you do not own a vehicle, you will only use a stroller most of the time at the mall. In addition, you won't use the stroller much until your baby has outgrown the infant seat. Especially if you don't live in warm climates. Wait until after the baby has arrived and then think of what the new reality of your lifestyle is now. Then you can decide if dropping $400 on a sport utility BOB jogger is worth it in the long run

I LOVE this stroller. I've flown across the country with it twice with different kids each time. It gives the luxury of full size features (taller, fully reclines, basket underneath) while also being easy to fold, maneuver, store in car. We purchased this before they brought out a new version that lets you click your infant seat into it and spend 50 or so dollars extra....but we were past the infant seat stage.

Sleep

Fisher Price Rock and Sleep



We had already been given a hand me down pack n play, but I found I kept tossing dirty laundry in it before the baby even got here. Not to mention it wouldn't fit right next to our bed. So with taking some baby shower money, I purchased this before the baby.

Best.money.ever.spent!

This thing lives up to it's promises. I used it right next to my bed until 6 months with Nolan as he was more dependant on mommy being very close. I could easily pick him up to nurse at night and then lay him back down. The wedge shape helped swaddle. The simple and lightweight design made it easy to move it from room to room during the day and pack in the car for overnight trips to the grandparents.

We found this to be on the lower end of high for average use life span. It goes beyond a bassinet by around 3 months more, making it to 6 months give or take. When baby can sit up unassisted and roll back to tummy...it is time to retire this gear.

Car Seats

This one can be the trickiest of all. I think a lot of car seats are sold on the basis of fear.

Here's the deal....

1. All car seats have to meet federal safety standards

2. Not all seats are the same shape/size. Think of your car make/model first and if you or your spouse have long legs. Your baby will be rear facing until the minimum of 1 year, although most recommended rear facing for much longer. Back seating seems to shrink as soon as you are installing a rear facing car seat and will no longer be able to slide the front seats back or recline for a very long time.

3. Infant carriers will only fit your kid until around 6 months. Most kids outgrow them in length first before hitting the weight limits.

Most do by the infant carrier, but if you want a better bang for your buck and lifespan of use, get a convertible car seat. They stay in the car and have a bigger weight limit. You'll also be able to use it for forward facing when the time comes. After 3 months, your little bundle of joy will not be so little, but heavy! Lugging that carrier around will become a pain and you might opt to just leave the carrier in the car and buckle/unbuckle them in outside of the house.

For more compact cars or crossovers...we have found Evenflo & Baby Trend to be kind on the wallet and back seat. A popular mid line convertible car seat by Graco is the My Ride 65. It is a nice seat, but....it is quite big. so keep that in mind. A lot will depend on how important brand name (cough...Britax) and status are to you and how lazy one wants to be when rethreading shoulder straps or installing. They are not that hard to install and most fire departments/police stations will do a free check to insure it is done right.

Cling-on

Low end

Middle


High end


Here's the deal...

1. Not all babies like baby wearing.

2. All carriers are not created equal for every body type.

3. Is Daddy comfortable wearing it? (large men and a Moby wrap look a little silly) 

We started off with the Moby wrap. It took some time to feel confident in how to tie it and only was it useful for the first few months. The above carriers will work for the long haul. I found that the Infantino carrier was a little more accommodating to larger sized folks or women with large breasts than compared to the Ergo. But hands down, the price of the Infantino is 1/4th the cost of the Ergo. Just depends on how important brand status is to you. Borrow a friends to see what fits your needs and wallet the best before committing.


Grub

This is another item where it can be tricky to know which one is best baby and the house.

Infant

Toddler


Here's the deal...

1.Think of design/function over looks. That wooden Stokke or Keekaroo might look nice, but may not be the best in true function. Both of their trays are not big enough to fit many baby and toddler plates.

2. Kids are hard and messy when eating. How easy is it to quickly clean after each meal time?

3. Safety. How great and accommodating are the safety straps? They are not all created equal and kids are little Houdini's when they do not want to be sitting.

4. Wait until you reach the solid foods stage to purchase one.

We had originally purchased the toddler chair for Eliza and used the baby tray and straps that came with it. those proved to be pretty pathetic once she started to stand on her own. We couldn't leave her alone in the chair for fear of standing up and falling backwards. But once she was walking and climbing, our wooden high chair was great for a toddler seeking independence.

The infant high chair has been the best for Nolan. We love it for its large feeding tray and safety straps. I will say however, if you have lighter weight table chairs, keep this in mind when they become stronger and can push/pull themselves away from the table while still strapped in. Nolan has pulled himself over while sitting in this thing. So now we have strapped the Space Saver chair in the toddler chair until he can be trusted to climb in and out of the toddler chair without assistance.


Misc but Good Haves

Munchkin Spoons
Swaddling
Sippy Cups
Bouncer (If you have an older child running around) Otherwise see Rock n Sleep

Borrow

Sometimes the best way to do it is to beg, borrow or steal. (j/k on stealing) Baby stuff takes up a lot of space and then space in the basement or garage. Especially when you find baby HATES to be in the swing or baby wore.

Battery/Plug in Swing
Exersaucer/jumper
Activity Mat
Walker
Baby Wearing


What was your lifesaver for baby?

Blog Gems

Here are a few blog gems that I've found to strike a real corde as a mother. The kinds that make you say 'whoa' and instil a new spark about how to be a better parent or person.

I have found myself uttering or thinking these things, since before I was a full time SAHM. Those sayings really do take away from the indescribable highs we are paid in as mothers.

Find it here.

I love to sew, and I love to sew projects that come from FREE printable patterns. Because, who has the money to spend on patterns, let alone having the time to spend sewing. Nap time can only last so long ;) Here is a great easy bib pattern that uses an unknown to most laminated fabric with a link to a nice Etsy shop who sells some cut fabrics, all laminated with the ability to buy fat quarters of it.

Take a look over at Peek-a-Boo Pattern shop

On a personal note...
I will leave this entry with something I experienced recently as a mother that was a first for me. It brought  my attention at the wonderful and perfect design that God gave us as women. I was at a playdate recently of a good friend. The kids were all over the place and struggling to find something entertaining to sustain them. In my presence, was a baby who had their time with mommy interrupted, due to being the 4th in line. Holding him was only going so far for contentment.

Then, after asking and being granted permission by his mother, I nursed him.

He ate and ate and slipped into a milk coma as I watched the eyes flutter and finally close. Then I lifted him on to my chest to nap, drinking the sweet baby scent.

I had the ability to feed this child without a bottle or solid food. A child that was not of my own blood or adopted in...my milk was enough to satisfy his thirst.

It had been a long time since Nolan would simply nurse and fall asleep at the breast. (Not to mention, forgetting what it feels like to nurse a baby without teeth!) Being that this is the longest I've ever breast fed one of my children, it was a nice experience to help out not just the baby, but the mother who could attend to her other children's needs in the most simple of ways.

I know this act is nothing new in history, as slaves were sometimes used as wet nurses for their masters children. Some may be grossed out by this act, but all I could see was something beautifully crafted and designed by God.