What it is REALLY like to be a SAHM- 1 year later

So my anniversary of becoming a full time stay at home mom, came and went. Hard to believe it has been that long since I turned in my work keys.

We've had....

Surgeries

Hospital stays

Another pregnancy

The winter and sickness season from He**

Potty training

Gone down to a one car family

First carnival rides

First kisses

Stitches

Birthdays

I am sure there are more things, but my brain capacity is on a limited basis these days....

So in a brief and nutshell sort of way, one of the best ways to describe what any given day can look like:

Hubby is home sick, so even though you have him home, he isn't really home. The kids still think its a day off, so any usual routine is challenged. Your 2 yr old decides that any out of reach contraband item is worth a fight for and drags out any item he can climb in order to get to it. Your 3 yr old keeps asking what show is on next, despite telling her multiple times the answer. You haven't even reached snack time, and they are already demanding what breakfast cereal they will consume the following morning.

After lunch has been thrown to the natives, you try and inform daddy in the nicest way you can that you never get a full day to get over being sick without child watch responsibilities. The clock has run out and you are going to clock out and take advantage of having the car and no kids in it.

But the sometimes tricky thing about leaving, is getting out the door. PJ pants have been stripped for jeans and a top that isn't stained up, purse, keys and phone in hand...check check check!

Wait....where are my shoes? (starts a search and rescue for said shoes)

Then you find them in a spot that you would never have taken them to. But it is on the other side of the general living space and you must brave your life and step through a minefield of toys, dry cereal, legos and other things you don't want ruined. Once you've reached the prize of your shoes, you have to navigate back to the front door after the path you just took has already been altered by the natives.

You shut the front door, walk to the car and let out a deep sigh in the drivers seat.

Whew....I made it.
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With all we've gone through in this last year, some of the hardest things experienced has been working the hardest job and not seeing a tangible paycheck to show for it. You are providing an invaluable service to your family, but your service does not produce a resource to help pay the bills or general staples.

It is HARD to balance one's life whether or not you work outside the home or not. Neither way is any easier and comes with different sets of challenges. I don't regret the decision from working outside the home, but I do look forward to the start of the school years in the future and being more self sufficient in self care :)

Merry Maids

Do you have a weekly cleaning schedule you follow?

Since staying home full time, I had yet to put down any sort of schedule which pertained to house chores. I would see the areas that would be screaming, and I may or may not have attended to them depending on my mood or energy level. Of course there are the urgent ones like unexplained vomit, sippy cup disasters and the, "oh no you just didn't dump every toy bin out!"

We all know about the never ending story of laundry folding. Putting it away is a whole nother book!

Among other daily habits I've struggled to get into in my life...I've found that I need a steady base level of cleaning that gets done, even if nothing else is getting done outside of it. I NEED to know that I am being intentional in some form of house management.

Things like:

Bathroom(s)
Floors
Dishes/kitchen counters
Putting recycling and trash in its respective receptacles
Freeing up laundry baskets with clean clothes

I haven't been perfect in sticking to what is down for the day, but I know it will take time. Especially when your hubby has extra time off and throws your day time routine out the window. I've only put things down for M-F for this reason, so I can give myself the highest chance of success with this plan.

What is your dreaded/hated house chore that you wished would just disappear?

The One Car (part 1)

Most families couldn't fathom the thought of being without two cars in the driveway. This was us a few years ago, as we looked over the logistics of moving across the country. It came down to selling Matt's car and putting mine on a trailer to tow behind the moving truck.

For over a year, we had to survive with just the one car. I would take the bus into work, and then wait for the hubby to be done with work to pick me up. I remember being pregnant and bundled up to go out into the snow and wait for the bus. Out here, there are no bus shelters and the last bus leaves the depot at 5:30.

Not too long after I returned from maternity leave, we knew a second car was gonna have to be in the cards. Matt had been out of work not too long before the birth of Eliza and seeking work. This is when we purchased a used Ford Focus wagon. It was our first car for both of us to own a car in the new millenia!

Eventually, we purchased a mini van from a coworker of mine who was preparing to move her family to New Zealand.

I loved that van.

Having two kids and their carseats was proving the need of more space.

It didn't have all the sexy features like most other varieties, but it was ours.

......ours for just six months that is.

After the accident, we were able to pay off the remaining balance on the auto loan and still have money leftover to for a down payment on a new van. Which by the way, put us less in debt than before on the previous loan.

It was higher in miles, but came with some real bonus features our other van didn't like rear AC, captain chairs, a drop down dvd player and my personal winter favorite....an auto starter!

We both had cars for carting kids and making bacon.

To be continued....

6 Month Anniversary

Yes, its a bonus blog day for ya'll!

It has come to my attention that I have been a fully stay home mom for 6 months now. Certainly doesn't feel like it though.

Here is what I've learned so far:

>Some days, you get the same amount of stuff done as if you were leaving the house for work.
>You may have glorious plans of educational activities to enrich the days...but they don't exactly happen.
>Afternoon nap time can be a wonderful time of the day.
>Dinner can only be as spectacular as to what you have in the fridge/pantry
>You feel like superwoman if you can take both kids to a doctors appointment AND go grocery shopping.
>Why clean up after breakfast when its just going to get dirty at lunch.

I am sure there are more pearls of wisdom learned, but this is what has come to my attention for now.

What have you learned as a mom recently?

Being Paid to Exercise

Being a mother has totally changed my life.period.

I decided to go out for a bike ride on my own over one of the weekends. It occurred to me that I hadn't ridden a bike since before I was pregnant with Eliza and was doing it to get to work since Matt had our only car to head to work outside of town.

This means, it had been FOUR YEARS since my butt touched a bike seat.

Holy moly!

I've also recently picked up a new hobby. Whenever I am out and about and come across a trash can, I take a peek to see if there are any redemption value recyclables. Doesn't matter where...parking lots, the park, store trash cans etc.

Now when I do take a bike ride, I am sure to bring a backpack and I stop to pick up cans/bottles on the road or in public places. Thus far, I've picked up about 50 cents each ride.

I am a mother....nothing grosses me out now a days and I am not too proud to rummage through a trash can. If there was a dollar bill laying on the floor...would you pick it up?

Since starting this hobby in mid May, I've brought in almost $20 of pure profit. Much of this comes from water bottles, as you pay a deposit on them in this state. All those Lipton/Brisk ice tea bottles or juice are a tease as they are of no value. It almost feels like being a kid again, looking to earn an allowance. It gets me out of the house and has the sense of being on a treasure hunt, scanning the sides of roads for coins :)

I am amazed at just how much money is thrown in the can or ground. The monies collected goes to my own "fun money stash".Maybe I should invest it into a beach cruiser seat to ease my bicycle crotch burn ;)

What am I going to do when it snows?

Taking it Back!

An early morning traditional breakfast at the grandparents

When we recently inherited an additional baby gate, we were able to finally take back the kitchen again.

I have now turned into an old married with children woman who gets giddy when she is able to open and load/unload the dishwasher without fear of little hands helping. And when I say helping, I mean grabbing at the biggest and sharpest knives and trying to find snacks left on the dishes.

Now I can sweep crud into a pile and not worry about someone thrashing their hands through it, sending it flying back into the crevices I swept it out from.

I no longer have a little 17 month old throwing a fit at the base of the pantry shelves because I will not allow him to sustain himself on graham crackers all the live long day.

I no longer have to kick "Little People" or play food or whatever the heck toys my kids find amusement back into the family room.

Oh...and I no longer have to fear my legs being bitten/scratched/pinched during meal prep while a meltdown is reaching the same intensity as the Chernobyl nuclear power plant fiasco.

The downside is having to run hurdles around the kitchen. I've gotten pretty good at the plastic dish toss into the sink because I am too lazy to unlatch the gate being held closed with a bungee cord. Either my kids have outsmarted it, or this $70 gate wasn't built to last more than 2 years : /

Excuse me while I go sign up with the local track team...

A Mother's Love

My mother has finally arrived for her annual visit with the kids.

Que having my 3rd child visiting...

Now I love my mother, don't get me wrong, but I am finding she forgets what it is like living with young children. AND how she use to get annoyed at how her own mother use to handle young kids and make comments about their behavior while trying to "mother" me.

Part of my surviving as a mother has been the ability to shut off certain parts of my brain. I would like to call those parts: crumbs, sticky, clutter, noise, uninterrupted activities.

Kids.are.messy.

Toddlers are.even.messier!

Things will eventually get cleaned up...in a day or two or three....

Even Though I've tried telling my mother not to worry about the kids and their behavior/actions/playing, she still feels it's her need to be the parents when it's a battle not worth fighting. I can handle the mess being made with toys in the family room. What I can't handle are two kids up my butt while I try and cook dinner at a reasonable time and proper temperature.

Yes, they will want to sit in your lap....

Yes, they will want you to put your book down so you can pay attention to them instead....

Or take over your food because the EXACT same food on their plate tastes different....

And even help you clean by knocking their play brooms around the house, causing more work for you during nap time.

Just about every visit she's made since moving across the county, the dynamics have been different. Nolan is now a toddler who has quite the temper and Eliza has ventured into the Troublesome Three's.

Welcome to my world mom.

Pesky Feelings

This first weekend has come with a quiet nagging.

A slow and subtle voice whispering demands of "Better get all your cleaning done this weekend", "Quick, go call up someone for a playdate" & "Don't do stupid stuff with your precious time."

If any of you mommas out there know how to shut this off...please do tell.

After I handed over my keys to the Youth Center, I was exhausted. I wanted to leave with a bang and threw a carnival in the gym. It was complete with eight game stations, tickets for prizes, popcorn and even a bouncy house.

As we loaded the rest of the stuff from my office, Matt took me aside and said...

I am so proud of you honey. You finished strong and didn't run away from those mountains you once faced. You stayed there for those kids for over four years and gave them a very special day.

I wasn't sure if it was the pure feelings of being drained, but all I felt was numb and indifferent. I was saying goodbye to a chapter in my life, but at the same time, not leaving the book. This is still my place of worship for our family and moving on to another church would require a significant move.

Brace with me as I sift through these feelings that will fall in my thoughts.