Reflections on our Possible Last?

As I write this post, it has occurred to me just how fast this summer is passing us by.

The summer season seemed to reside on a distant planet.

DISTANT I TELL YOU!

The space in which was between me and my due date was never close enough. Couple that with a winter season who buried us alive, freezing our sanity in the icicles hanging on the outside eaves of the house. Everyone who had a vagina seemed to be pregnant, and I was towards the tail end of the baby train. You were happy for those ahead of you having their baby, but childishly burned with envy, that it was you instead.

Now I sit and look at how we are almost done with the month of August. In a few weeks, Alden will be turning three months. It feels like forever ago and at the same time, just last month.

This brings me to nearing a very hard time as a momma.

It isn't the sleep deprivation, shirt changes from spit up (like I have time to change clothes anyways), fussy moments when all you want is to sit down and enjoy dinner. I can't remember the last time I was afforded the luxury of dining.

Where each bite was savored.....appreciated....and not eaten in such a rapid ferocious manner one would eat as if this was your last meal ever and a herd of tyrannosaurus rex was headed in your way. Behold the powers of a crying baby.

I think I'd just enjoy being able to eat and not have to dodge gross covered hands using my clothes as their personal napkin.

What brings me a great deal of personal and ridiculous distress is when you have to start putting away outgrown baby clothes.....sigh.

Why are these sleepers with silhouettes of elephants/firetrucks/dinosaurs causing such emotional turmoil!?

BUT THEY'RE SO DARN CUTE!
YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY HAVE OUTGROWN IT ALREADY!?
YOUR UMBILICAL CORD STUMP JUST FELL OFF THE OTHER DAY!

Curse you Lord for not designing our children with a pause button!

I've been caught off guard by the feelings, or lack thereof, of having an overwhelming desire of feeling complete with our family size. Yet, the thought of being pregnant again and going through a 3rd cesarean as I approach turning 33 brings a quick reality check. And as I laid my youngest down in the crib while Thing one and Thing two were fast asleep in the same room....where on earth would we put a fourth child in our place if we still remain in this house!?

I cheer on each of my children for reaching new developmental milestones....but silently weep inside.

Matt feels very much content and complete with our number of bio kids. He is very verbal, stating if we do add to the family, they will either be house broken or come with underwear.

So as each new day comes to pass...sometimes you can just say "screw it" and let your baby fall asleep at the breast instead of self soothing while drowsy away from you.

laundry and house chores will have to wait because....I'm holding my baby :)

    

Nolan: Flying Ace!

After attending a birthday party in Canandaigua NY, we decided to check out their local airfield after seeing small planes flying low for landing. It must have been destiny, because one of the pilots had just finished with a ride and was finishing up with the riders who booked a WW2 Warbird experience ride.

Of course, our little aviation enthusiast had to get out of the car and get an up close look. As we were chitchatting about the plane and how for only a mere $250, you could also enjoy the same experience...I mentioned how much our son loved planes and if he could check out the cockpit.  

Low and behold...he obliged and even got to wear the flight cap! Oh how over the moon he was!

Maybe some day....he might just be a real pilot.

2 Months!

Phew! We have reached the second month already! Time just keeps rolling along. And in that time span, we are getting some smiles and the chunk is starting to pile on.

2 Month Stats

Weight: 12.4

Height: 23.75

Alden did surprisingly well for his well baby exam. No problem being held/poked/prodded etc.... This was much relief compared to Nolan who wanted NOTHING to do with the pediatrician. She could tell right off the bat about his temper and that I was in big trouble. Oh how those words have never been truer! 

We're in mostly 3 month clothes, with some summer items like shorts and rompers being utilized in the 6 month size from Nolan. I'm finding there to not be much of a huge difference between these sizes and as long as the waist works....boom sauce! I've even gone with some 12 month 2 piece pajamas. I guess this way, I'll get to enjoy Alden wearing them longer as he grows into them. Then when the time comes to retire those precious items, I'll of had enough time putting them on to help make the process a little easier....I hope.

King of the Mountain

In all the craziness of the beginning of this summer season....having Alden ended up blessing us more than we'd thought. Through our Aflac coverage, we found out about a portion of our policy that all children born while on the mother's coverage are also included for the first 30 days.

An unknown financial blessing came our way :)

And like most parents....you love your children despite the days where they mutate into little monsters.

In the backyard, we have a ghetto swing set up. It is a long chain stretched tight between two large trees with 2 regular and one baby swing. It works pretty well and was the least expensive route to go. We had always drooled and envied those with the wooden set ups with the tower to climb and/or monkey bars. But they've never been in our budget. So when we had some unexpected funds become available...we thought this would be the only time we could do something like this.

We searched online and instore...did our research...compared and weighed the pros and cons.

Hey, look....Walmart has one on rollback!

.....but when it came to hitting the complete purchase button....we got cold feet.

Never had we spent this much money on a toy for the kids. Shoot....not even that much on a stroller!

These things have been known to be a beast to assemble. An all day job at that, and that is assuming you know what you're doing. By the time it would arrive, and be constructed...I couldn't help but wonder if they'd have a month to play on it before the weather turned sour. Kinda like giving a kid a bike for Christmas in the North East.

We don't own our place and is unknown as to how long we'll stay here. So we skipped the idea, since it was really the tower we wanted so the kids would stop climbing us or the furniture. Ain't nobody got time for that! But what else was there to climb on?

Low and behold....Amazon!

Step 2 had a mountain and it came with free freight shipping. Hooray!

It is over 6 ft tall and has been our solution. It ended up being cheaper on the budget too! It is rated for up to age 8 and should last a long time with the kids. And in the event we have to move, this should be more manageable to take with us. If not, we should be able to get a few bucks back out of it :)























Nolan can already climb to the top and drop inside to the middle platform.

Overall, it is a big hit with the neighborhood. Now if only I had room to bring it inside for winter play!

Snip Snip!

Since Nolan was about 12 months, I've done the home haircuts for him. Nothing too fancy, but I've gotten better with my skills. But with all the craziness of the birth, recovery and adjustment...I hadn't had the time or patience, and it was becoming very clear that something needed to be done when during church, I swept away his sweaty blonde locks. It had grown a good length, and I guess I wanted to be spoiled and have someone else do it and also pay attention as to how they handled his noggin.

In staying with tradition with Eliza, I dragged my camera along to document his first pro cut. I used my own need of a trim to justify it even more. My buns hadn't seen a salon chair since early Fall!

Overall...he did GREAT for my stylist and stayed put for the most part. All the extra practice at home sure helped make this time around go smoothly.

One Month

Firsts:

Holiday

Rolling from tummy to back

Day trip

Fireworks

Bonfire Pit

Visits from Grandparents

Alden is a pretty chill baby boy. We can usually comfort him pretty quickly with a binky, a boob or just to be held. Thus far, he tolerates his older siblings with all the hugs and kisses given. Things like the vacuum do not bother him, and he's becoming more alert and will focus and look around his surroundings.

The sleep department isn't bad either. He still wakes about 1-2 times in the night, but no clue as to when as I don't bother to even check the time. All I know is he will eat and fall asleep right after while I also snooze in the bed.

It doesn't feel like it has been that long ago I was anxiously waiting to go into surgery to meet him.....and at the same time, feels like he's been in our family forever :)

*Disclaimer*

I know by the time this is posted, it will have been longer than a month, but with 3 chitlins to watch, any time this momma has to herself is a true gift! So forgive the lateness of these posts. 

Mid Month Confessions

Its that time of the month...and no its not my period 

(Yay! May it hold off for another year with breastfeeding)

Click here for another less than stellar mom

1> I put on Mrs. Doubtfire for us adults since the kids were going to bed soon. Um yeah....kids didn't go to bed until almost the end....certainly not g rated for a few words. Lets hope they weren't deciding to listen then.

2> We've had a few CIO moments with our 1 month old. Not planned but I guess that is what you get with kid number 3.

3> I have all these educational and sensory things for Eliza to do...but I've been too tired and lazy to actually do them with her since quiet time is suppose to give me a break.

4> I've seriously had moments as of late of wishing away my 2 year old. Who ever said girls are harder than boys must not have raised both!

5> I've called the hubby to purchase donuts for me at 9:30 pm. Nursing cravings are real, right?

Belated Mothers Craft

In all the craziness of being pregnant and not seeing family until after Alden was born....it gave me a chance and an excuse to put together a gift for both grandparents with mostly supplies I already had on hand.

I took an idea from Pintrest and did a variation on one of them after the iconic Love stamp. My mother needed a gift that she could easily pack in her suitcase to fly home with.

My MIL, got one which will go nicely in their new home they'll be moving into this late July. Both were very happy to receive this as a gift, and includes all the grandchildren. I'm happy for the most part of how it turned out, but its not easy to get nice looking hand and footprints from babies and kids when you only have one shot at getting it somewhat visually pleasing.

Yankee Doodle Dandy

We decided to drive away from the local rain and head for the clear skies in the Finger Lake Region for July 4th for an adventure. Since there isn't anything to do where we live, I had thought visiting Watkins Glen State Park at the most southern end of Lake Seneca while my mother was out visiting would be a nice distraction.

There was a small but very neat playground by the picnic area, containing play structures that we don't have at any of the near by local parks. With all the time spent in the car and then being dragged along to boring outlet mall shops, this was a welcomed break for the kids. They really challenged the kids with the untraditional ways to climb, even bringing out a little fear in little miss daredevil. Nolan was quick to catch up to Eliza, proving he could do it just the same!

Watkins Glen's beauty is found in the wet paved trails, above and below the gorge with waterfalls. If you are not in the best of shape, you will still find trails that make it easy to walk without feeling like you weren't able to see enough of the falls.

It is recommended though, if planning on visiting with infants or young toddlers, to baby wear them, as the trails do have portions of stairs sprinkled in the trails. At least enough of them to detour you from wanting even a jogging stroller. This is when having an infant who is still very little, made my poor man's ergo carrier very enjoyable despite the stairs and distances walked. If you plan to stay for the day in the warmer months, your entrance includes access to a very large public pool with 3 diving boards and a good sized wading pool.

We stopped for dinner on the lake's waterfront and watched the boats come in and out and cruising along. Despite one cloud cell dumping some rain while we ate under the covered deck, the temperature was comfortable for the most part and didn't require any jackets.

On our way home, we drove up the other side of the lack and came into a small town's fireworks show. We pulled into a church parking lot and had the best up close viewing for the show.....and gave the local mosquitos a feast in the process! This was the first time the kids had seen fireworks, as we've always been visiting family and doing a BBQ at the house. Eliza loved all the colors, but Nolan was undecided for half the show if he liked them or not. Lots of running in and out of the van were had until finding a safe place with daddy.

Despite coming home very late and a few more bug bites than we'd like....it was a great way to spend the holiday with family and enjoying God's beauty!

A Newborn Shoot: Alden

I love when the weather is nice enough (or season cooperates) to do a newborn session outside with natural light. I had recently acquired a large bassinet type basket and a cradle prop I had given some TLC to and never used it with Nolan.

With babies being fickle in posing and moods, I split it up in two different sessions, while also utilizing different lighting of the day. 

So here are some of my personal favorites of each session

The Heart of Community

"Won't you be mine, won't you be mine....won't you be...my neighbor" - Fred Rodgers

As our ways of communicating have become much more advanced, we taking advantage of this advancement without being present. From social media and entertainment at our fingertips which don't have to leave the confines of our homes...we are seeing a lot less of us with each other.

Over the past five years we've lived here...we have seen our neighbors come and go. Some have been great, while others we hardly knew. We were either ships passing in the night with our lifestyles, or our stages in life differed, making any possibilities of connecting to be almost nonexistent. For us, knowing how social and friendly we are...this made us sad. We like to know who we live with and see if there is any chance for us to connect with others. Our kids thus far have also inherited this friendly character trait....if not a little too well!

This is the first summer where we have more than just 1 or 2 great neighbors living with us...but the community spirit which has blossomed due to some things going on with the ownership of the properties we reside in...its something special. We are coming together to help each other out. Lawns are getting mowed with borrowing or even doing it for others. Parents actually go outside and socialize with the other parents and help watch each others kids as they play. Kids go from one side of the yard to the other...playing with each others backyard toys. Even spontaneous bonfires and grilling take place. Need a tool for a project? Chances are one of us has it and lets you borrow it.

We are coming together....pooling our resources and talents. It is the kind of things of the past like knocking on a neighbor's door for a cup of sugar. 

No one is complaining at the sounds of kids making noise like you hear about on social media.

The kids have others to play with this summer, although Eliza is the only girl of the group lol.

I am excited for the first time in a long time this summer season and the good times to be had!

Being a Family of Five

I think the question most asked of us is, "So are you absolutely exhausted?"

And my response to this is...

Not yet.

Believe it or not, the pure fact of not being pregnant anymore gives one a very nice boost in energy they haven't had in 9 months. Throw in some motherly confidence earned from the last two children, and the baby becomes the easiest of them all.

They don't back talk, knowingly disobey you, stay where you last laid them down....and you can count on one hand what it is they must want.

With this being said....it is our two year old who may not live long enough to see his third birthday!?

Take one two year old, a cup of stubbornness, minced temper and a dash of boyish charm and mix well. To ensure a delicious finish for those with acquired tastes...baste with one pregnancy and bake to the desired nine months to achieve a very naughty toddler.

Nolan is taking after his sister in trying to love his new brother a little to hard. He loves to give constant kisses on his head, pull brothers head away while still latched to mommy, yank on his legs and crowd him out while being nursed. We have to watch this boy like a hawk when little bro is around. Basically, any undesired behavior we had before has been magnified since Alden. It mostly is focused on his sister with extra fighting/hitting/bitting/wrestling while pushing just about every button mommy and daddy have left. We wonder if maybe naming him Dennis would have done him more justice. 

Eliza, we think, is still mourning the idea that this isn't a baby girl. When being asked questions about her new baby brother by her physical therapist, she would only say what his name was and then stated she didn't want to talk about it anymore. But overall, she wants to be the big sister and hold the baby all.the.time. Although she is still a daddy's girl. When Matt has to go out and run some errands, he'll take Nolan since he is the most physically demanding and too much for me in my recovery to handle. This upsets Eliza very much, but taking both out to some very boring places is not worth the fight.   

Lastly...

Give props to daddy...

He has really had to step up to the plate in the last couple of weeks. After just starting a new job position, he has had to wear many additional hats while taking care of the family. He has gotten to see first hand at what my life is like a little bit more while he's at work. I am sure he'll be singing some silent praises when he returns to work towards the end of June, but will have some extra support when my mother comes out for her long annual visit.

Today, I had my post op visit. I've been cleared to drive again (yippie freedom!), and I can lift a little bit more weight. I'll have to wait another month until I can lift the two older kids though. But I sorta celebrated this afternoon with an outing to Target with Eliza and Alden. It went so well, that I even hit up hobby lobby! Time will tell what it may be like when having all three kids while solo....but I think this was a good indication that I'll be alright when the time comes.

What a difference going from 1 to 2 kids compared to 2 to 3 kids. I think I've earned my mommy cred and have enjoyed the extra confidence this time around ;) 

Alden- A Birth Story

Without having the excitement of spontaneous labor happening (which has never happened for me), one might think there isn't much to write. Yet there are always those surprises one never thinks of or wants to think about when it comes to giving birth.

Note: This is just my experience, and not to trigger any new mothers who may be facing a csection, as every woman's body is different and so is every experience. 

The night before, we were blessed with the help of having the kids be able to spend a couple nights away. With having to be at the hospital at 6 am, I don't know who would want two active little kids awake in their presence before 5:30. So after we did the drop off, we decided to take advantage of being kid free and enjoyed some Chinese in peace.

After doing probably way too much the night before in nesting and procrastinating on kitchen duties...we headed off to drastically change our family forever.

For the third time, our journey started in the same delivery room as it has for the last two kids. In having a prior experience, albeit certainly different for a csection, I knew there were 3 different levels of discomfort to make it through before everything would be where I last remember it to be in recovery.

Step 1- Receive foley bulb catheter

Step 2- Endure IV start up

Step 3- Manage and have successful spinal block

Not sure why...but for whatever reason...I have the most stubborn back to be stuck. Despite not being in labor...and even taking preventative measures with a chiropractor....it made no difference in making the process any easier or less painful. It required several attempts and going with an even bigger/longer needle (seriously...a bigger one?!) until the final shooting pain down my right leg resulted in success (Matt could hear my howls outside the OR). Now if only this hadn't triggered my vomit reaction and the doctor had just listened to my pleas of Zofran to be given before I reached critical nausea mass.

You never realize just how physical the act of vomiting is until you are laying flat and 2/3 of your body is numb and powerless to aid in evacuating nothingness of your stomach bile. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, as the nurses have seen it all! In fact, one of them was wondering when I was going to cry uncle and ask to be put under general. And I was even asking myself the same thing, if this was going to be fruitful at all.

When I was laid flat, heaving and they had started cutting...Matt finally got to join me in the OR. And it was surprisingly pretty fast from start to finish. When it came to Alden being pulled out, they weren't sure if he wanted to or was trying to shake hands with the doctor first. But he wasted no time in belting out his war cry, and I instantly felt a giant weight lifted off my lower abdomen. Matt left my side to go and document those first moments that he wasn't able to with Nolan. He even witnessed Alden peeing all over the nurse and managing to get it inside and down her scrubs!

My OB- Dr. Pfeiff

I think if it weren't for the continued vomiting during delivery that a more gentle csection would have been possible. But after the cord had been cut and airways suctioned out...I was able to hold my baby before any other official evaluations were done. It wasn't for as long as I would have liked, but I guess I wasn't done throwing up (and wouldn't be even in the recovery room). But Alden opened his eyes just for me when he heard my voice and in my arms. All the while, I couldn't mistake the very present lip curl/snarl that his daddy has given me many times. I guess he was not amused by anything else ;)

After things calmed down in recovery, I was able to attempt our first nursing session, but all he wanted to do was chill out at the bar. This didn't worry me, as we had plenty of time while waiting for my body to start perking up from the spinal block...which is a weird sensation/experience in itself. With time, he started to root with daddy and I was confident he'd latch. I think with me having to lay flat to avoid post spinal block complications made it hard for both of us to get into a natural position.

When being moved from recovery, it just so happened to be the same post partum room I had with Eliza....and later to move to a different room towards the end of my stay in the same one I had with Nolan. Matt was able to spend one overnight with me, as the first 24 hours are usually the hardest. After all the business of getting ready for the birth and surgery...we felt very content to just be still in the quiet of our room...gazing at the similarities of our newest son.

Look for the next blog post on how the kids have accepted the new baby and how we're juggling a family of five!