Mothering with ADHD

*Note- Not sure if I've posted this before...but its something pretty important I feel to share. And maybe someone else won't feel so alone in the process*

The year I turned 27, I finally got some answers to some long wondered difficulties. It seemed like once I moved away from my safe haven of 24 years in the same house and community....everything kinda hit the fan.

Like the biggest stinky pile into an industrial special effects fan.

Since getting the diagnosis of ADHD as an adult, it was as if there was a fog being lifted.

Everything.made.sense.

Growing up and my educational struggles before college were now explained. When I went to college and was able to focus on something I was very interested as opposed to the things I HAD to take previously. My HS GPA was 2.85. Graduating college it was 3.80. I knew I was smart, but couldn't understand why it didn't translate.

As the years have passed, I've been on and off medications. Turns out...being an adult who needs meds is actually a hard thing to be prescribed, let alone be able to pay for it. Then throw in pregnancy and having to go off them for safety and breastfeeding concerns...

It seemed like every time I was eligible to go back on....after two weeks I would be pregnant. Coincidence maybe?

The biggest challenge in the past has been my working environment. I've described it like being a Philips head in a flat head world. I can do the same thing as everyone else, but I just get there differently. I have my own 'tool box' of tricks to apply if I'm allowed to use them. Otherwise....we have lots of frustration and tears shed.

Being a SAHM with ADHD has been an interesting journey as those who have faithfully continued to visit this blog can surely vett for this. I live/breath/sleep in my office. No sick time or vacation days or even date nights for that matter! Every day is the same and different at the same time. I struggle with finding the motivation and drive to do the daily tasks while also give care and attention to my children. Many times, I don't find this until late at night.

So do I give in to chores or have some 'me' time? Me time is usually because I found an unexpected burst of creativity and I want to ride the wave as long as I can. This can also happen with house chores.

Having ADHD is like surfing. You paddle out, waiting for the perfect wave to come. Mean while, you bob up and down...going no where. This going no where, is when you find yourself getting depressed/agitated or letting your anxiety get the best of you. The motor is revving, but has no where to go or put that energy into something.
A lot of the time, there are things outside of your control.

You.don't.like.this.

Focus comes in different categories.

Maybe I'll get a wave of child oriented focus where I'll come up with an activity or play on the floor with them.

Maybe a house cleaning wave comes my way.

Or the hardest....a me focused project.

Then, like jealous children....they get upset and fight with each other...feeling neglected while guilt sets in over not giving them enough attention.

Drugs are not 100% the answer. They only allow me to better utilize my tips and tricks for daily life. Right now, I am on some sort of medication that can help with focus and keeping the idling engine in check. It's not perfect, but it will have to do due to my present breast feeding relationship.

But at least I can afford this one.

I am not sure how individuals can afford mental health drugs each month. The previous one I was on recently, which was the only non stimulant option, was also the ONLY one available. And of course that meant it was brand name. Even with my decent health insurance AND a prescription savings card from the pharmaceutical company...came to $105 dollery doos!

You may not see my disability on the outside, but many of us go through life with invisible struggles. Some know about them, and others have yet to get the answers as to why life is so difficult to function with most of society.

My name is Erin Geddes, and I have adult ADHD

Five Months

Time is just whizzing by before my very eyes. If only to bottle up this baby time to enjoy it when I have more time for it. That's the problem with each subsequent child. You have to divide you time and attention while the house work only multiplies!

Besides the festivities of Halloween and his dedication with the grandparents...there hasn't been too much big news or accomplishments. Oh well maybe except...

Sleeping.through.the.night!

We've graduated him to the crib and out of our bedroom. Knowing how he seems to prefer sleeping on his tummy the most and feeling like we've gotten out of the wonder weeks period of sleep ridiculousness...it was time to bring on the CIO. I've tried to wake him before heading to bed myself to nurse to ensure there isn't any legit hunger pains later on.

First night he woke up twice...

Second night was just once

Third night was freedom! 

Mommy and baby are doing MUCH better in the day now that we are getting some better sleep and naps are becoming more predictable in the morning and afternoon. And as long as he is indeed napping...he can sleep through the noise of his brother and sister fighting. So well that I don't even bother to shut the bedroom door, hehe.

We're getting close to rolling over from back to tummy and working on our core strength in sitting up. If he is sitting just right in the boppy, we'll get a diagonal upright position. I look forward to when I can place him on a blanket and surround him with toys for longer times of occupied bliss. Its the little things :)

To Potty or Not to Potty

**Disclaimer- if hearing about toilet training and the words poop and pee make you at all squeamish...stop reading right here and close this tab immediately. You've been warned**  

I think one of the most nerve wracking things for a parent to go through is toilet training their children. Maybe even deciding when to start. Everyone has their advice and the loads of approaches available online. But of course....

Every child is different....grrrr.

Nolan has been giving us quite the mixed signals about being ready for it. But after finding a dry night diaper, we thought...let's see what happens!

In the last 2 days...I've seen a lot of little boy parts. In starting off as I did with Eliza....its a bare bottom attempt. Nothing to hinder the pee from hitting the target. Leg warmers are fashionable still, right?

And we've had some successes. Even poop after only a day.

Between special stickers and mini M&M candy for successful liquid deposits...its been enough incentive to encourage him to sit on the potty chair. So much in fact, that he's tried to cheat the system with pouring water and juice in the collection bowl and pass it off as his own waste.

Nice try bub....

(I think we'll avoid any apple juice for a while to ensure there are no fraudulent entries)

But the frustrating part thus far is when I put anything on him...he'll pee as if it was a diaper. Even loose shorts. With this being said, I am about to try some pull ups, which I never had to with Eliza. But my couch cushions/pillows will cry foul if I don't do something soon.

For some reason, the middle of the morning is when we have accidents in a row. And of course we are not nap or nighttime training. So now we'll see how long we both last until one of us breaks....

This sucks....

A Gallagher Visit

No matter how I get, whenever family from my side is able to visit...it really is a treat. We were blessed to have my Uncle Dave and Aunt Grace come out to our neck of the country and visit for a few days.

The kids took right to them and gave the usual workout of wrestling and climbing all over.

We finally got out to taking a walk on a new trail that opened up along the Mohawk river and found where a group of ducks lived. The kids loved every minute of their attention while visiting and were a bit sad to see them leave for the west coast. The last time they visited, Eliza was only but 2 weeks old when she was dedicated. First borns get everything  right?

Dedicated

Once again, our newest family member was dedicated by his grandparents. Albeit with one less grandmother, it was still special none the less. For those who aren't familiar, a baby dedication is a special ceremony where we, the parents, are held accountable to take the responsibility of raising our child to know God and to raise them in the church and sheperd. This isn't to take the place of asking the Lord into their hearts. They will have to make that choice on their own later on as we believe Salvation is a personal decision.

Now that there are three little ones on the stage.....two year olds will ALWAYS have a mind of their own and only cooperate so much. Nolan spent much of his time laying on the floor. At least he stayed on the platform.

A special thanks to my neighbor Katie for taking pictures of the service. Otherwise I would have had to try and tripod the camera and have a remote shutter in hand and pray I could get something of worth.